Funemployment!

So I'm living at home with my parents while I'm looking for a job. You'd think it'd be kind of depressing but it's actually kinda nice. My mom's a good cook, my dad does the dishes, and the place is HUGE compared to the apartments I'm used to. It's nice to have roommates too- after returning home to an empty place in the quiet suburbs for two years, it's nice to have some noise and interaction.

And yes, my parents are my ROOMMATES, hehe. There's this one part of The Flight of the Conchords where Dave (the faux-casanova Indian friend who runs the pawn shop) talks about his living situation (totally paraphrased):

Dave: Aw, man, my roommate is crazy.
Bret/Jermaine (I forget): Don't you live with your parents?
Dave: What? Uh...no. Those are my roommates!
Bret/Jermain: But don't they have pictures of you growing up?
Dave: I know! I think they made them in Photoshop, it's really creepy and sad.

OK, so I haven't gotten to that point of delusion but it's only been a month and a half!

Anyone else?

I heart Santa-san and Reindeer-San!

On the 11th grade final exam at my nerd school, I asked my kids what they want for Christmas. Among the iPods, PCs, and book answers were the following:

1. "I want to eat the biggest cake in the world!" Awesome! I would say more than half of my kids said they wanted cake for Christmas. Easily pleased, right??? The Japanese tradition of Christmas is to eat fried chicken (usually from KFC) and Christmas cake (strawberry shortcake, basically). Also, Christmas is a "romantic" holiday akin to Valentine's Day, so you spend it with your boyfriend or girlfriend, not your family. The best part is that they think that this is the bona fide American thing to do. Oh, so much to teach about our beloved culture!
2. "I want as much money as possible because money can buy you everything except love." A lot of kids wrote money too, but one of my wise guys (his name is "Yohei" and introduced himself by waving "Yo!" and then "Hey!"- instant cred in my book!) is apparently a Beatles fan!
3. "I want a pen so I can study." This kid's demanding, right? However, he got a really low score (a 10 out of 40, by far the lowest in the grade!) so I wrote (with like 11 smileys) "Dude, I will get you a pen!"
4. "I want a very cute girlfriend because Christmas will be a more happy day." Hilarious!
   
5. "I want to spend time with my friends because I want to enjoy the day in order to forget the sadness I haven't a girlfriend." This was actually written by #5's best friend! I wrote "good luck!" on both their papers.
6. The best one of all (written by one of the top students who's probably on his way to a top law school): "I want nothing because in Japan, many people have financial difficulties....I hope it will be better. (It's a joke. I want books for study.)" Amazingly deadpan! It would depress me if I weren't impressed by his mastery of sarcasm- ellipsis points even!
   

To end, here is an impossibly cute picture...Not only did it make my students gasp with "Meccha Kawaii's!" even the Vice-Principal couldn't help but point and become overhelmed by a cuteness-induced giggle! (One of the boys: "Is it me or is Reindeer-san too cute?")

Just Your Average Weekend in the 'Pan

Passed by some elementary school kids bullying one boy. Decided to go over and act teacherly. As I'd never done this before, I was supremely surprised that the kids immediately stopped, jumped to their feet, smiled and yelled things like "I'm ok!" "I love you!" and "We are babies!"

How did these kids get so good at English???

Let's Enjoy a Happy Halloween Time!

Happy Halloween, peepz!

This year, I'm going as this fine young woman right here:
Gokusen- the Gangster Teacher!

She teaches math AND kicks bad guys' butts!

So at the end of each exam, I ask the student a "fun" (for me) extra credit question. It helps keep me sane when I'm grading! (For the last final, I asked for the 2008 Presidential Candidates: Very few kids knew McCain (or "Makein" in Japanese) but lots of kids knew "Balack Obama" and "Hirari" (Oh, that wonderful L/R mixup!)!

So the 10th Grade Midterm Exam Question was: "What Halloween Costume would you choose and why?"

• "A pumpkin. It's very cute." (answer from several male students)
• "A zombie. It's very cute." (answer from several female students)
• "[Female J-pop singer] Ayumi Hamazaki. I respect her a lot." (answer from a male student)
• "A Ghost. It's very cheap."
• "What will you be for Halloween, Pam-sensei? Will you go to a party?" (I gave him a point for appealing to my vanity! And actually writing something....)
  
• Other popular ones: Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp, Dorakura (a.k.a. Dracula - took me a while to figure that one out!), cat, and one kid even said he would be the Grim Reaper!! ("shinigami" in Japanese. "shinu" = death and "kami" = god)
  
• A couple students said this to me in person, "I can't dress up for Halloween! I'm Japanese!"
  

So what will you be for Halloween? Will you go to a party?

Cosby Got Nothing on My Kids!

Some random stories about my crazy kids... As some of you may know, I teach at two very different high schools. One's a high academic school which has a reputation for being "the nerdiest school in Shiga Prefecture" (prefecture = Japan's answer to a state) and the other one is a lower level school with kids who are known for being kinda punky.

At my punky school:

• One of the kids comes into class one morning and goes:"Hey, do you remember me? On the train yesterday, I saw you! " (He crouches down, waves and yells "Hey!") "That was ME!!!"

• A pair of friendly, middle aged women sell sweet and savory pastries from the back of a minivan in the school courtyard. One boy, whose usual stoic expression rivals that of my dad, says "Gee, I wish I could eat everything! It all looks so good!" with this genuine shy smile. The women were super flattered and happy and I stood there beaming at him with my hand over my heart.

At my nerdy school:

• One boy was walking to school all slowly and such. His friend comes up behind him, offers to take his heavy bag, puts it in his bike basket*, and rides away on his bike as Stevie Wonders' "That's What Friends Are For" plays in the background.

• As I'm walking out of class, a boy hands me his speech to correct. I walk downstairs to my desk and just as I sit down, the same boy asks me to give him back his paper. I wanted to be like "Um, dude, you gave it to me literally 2 minutes ago!" But then I asked his name, looked among the corrected speeches, and lo and behold...there was his red ink covered paper! As I hand it back to him, I go "Holy carp...Yamazaki...and Yamazaki... your (identical twin) brother just..." and before I could finish, he shot me one of those tired "heard it a million times before" looks! (I bet you thought I couldn't tell my students apart, huh? No way! I can recognize the faces, names and socials of all 800+ uniform-wearing kiddos!)
  

*Yes, most bikes in Japan are "mama-charis" a.k.a. "Mama Chariots" with baskets in the front and sometimes back and with 0-3 speeds. Sadly, no ribbons.

Imbibing J-style!

Drinking alcoholic beverages, much like in uh, every country, is of utmost importance here. So here are some words to get you through the good times and, if you're like the poor "salary man" (Japanese businessman) above, maybe the bad times! (Can anyone read what the key chain says?)

Nomitomodachi (no-mee-toh-moh-da-chee) = literally "drinking" (nomi) "friends" (tomodachi)- basically means drinking buddies.

e.g. At one of our school enkais (drinking parties for offices- usually kind of formal), I mentioned that two of the (older male) teachers always seem to hang together at work parties. One of the other English teaches said, "Those two are what we call Nomitomodachi!"

Mo ippai onegaishimasu (moe EE-pie oh-ne-guy-shee-mahs) = one more (drink) please; the counting system is crazy here, so the ending for "long, thin, cylindrical items" (like a beer bottle) is "hai" (ippai = one bottle, nihai = two bottles, sanbai= three, yonhai = four, etc.)

Kanzo ga yabai (kahn-zo gah ya-bye) = literally means "[someone's] liver is in danger" Basically, that you drank so much, you're like, totally gonna get cirrhosis! As you may remember, "yabai" means "risky/dangerous" - so to the kiddies, it means "that's (dangerously) cool!"

Nomisuke (noe-mee-skay) = boozer, someone who drinks a lot.

Taikobara (tie-koh-ba-ruh) = pot belly/beer belly- what you get if you drink too much! Comes from "taiko" meaning drum- taiko drumming is a popular hobby here- and "bara" which means stomach.

Futsukayoi (foo-tsoo-ka-yoy) = hangover
e.g. It's funny- at the convenient store, they sell all kinds of drinks that are supposed to help you recover (one of them has a blonde woman wearing a business suit and glasses on it! Hilar.)

Koukai suru (KOH-kye soo-roo) = to feel regret

Honto ni sumimasen/honto ni gomen nasai (hone-toe nee soo-mee-mah-sen/goh-men nuh-sye): I'm REALLY sorry! If you wanna do it properly, make sure to do a quick, deep (I'm talking 45 degree angle here) bow that you keep until you hear your apology accepted!

Now go on, kids, get yourself some salary man friends and head off to E. 7th Street!

Let's Talk about Skeevy McGees!

Since I think your (read: Lux and Stine's) maturity level is about the same as mine, I hope you'll appreciate today and tomorrow's (a surprise topic!) posts. Today we'll be talking about...

hentai (henn-tye): meaning "transformed," it's pretty much your run-of-the-mill pervert; usually said to people you know when they're acting creepy (but as a joke).

e.g. When any non-Japanese male here encounters a Japanese woman. Exaaactly.

sukebee (skay-bay): essentially, a lech.

e.g. There was a crazy guy here (who was super cool, but liked the sauce) and later into the night, he tended to flirt with everyone (regardless of gender, and the fact that he was married). He also had the habit of high fiving people and going "I'm Sukebee Jason!" Awesome.

chikan (chee-kahn): this is "the guy-on-the-subway-that-flashes-and-gropes-women," the highest echelon of the Japanese big perv.

e.g. We were getting off a crowded bus somewhere in the middle of suburban Kyushuu (the large Southerly island of Japan) and one of my friends (Jon) yells, "Chikan jenai yo!" (I'm not a pervert, really!) cos he had to touch like a jillion women on the way out. The entire bus of Japanese people cracked their shizz up.

seku hara (seh-koo-ha-rah): the shortened form of sexual harassment. People here love abbreviating English words into barely recognizable "Japanese" words (eakon = air conditioner, pasokon = Personal Computer, etc.)

e.g. It's pretty common to hear this when people who work together go out drinking. I've never heard it said as anything but a joke though! I guess it's pretty much the same as back home.